I think that if you could find a nonprofit, or a broad coalition of nonprofits, with a large base of support, a boycott could be a really good short term strategy that will be able to force concessions on a few items here and there.
But I think there are a lot of opportunities for a boycott to fail to create the deeper systemic change we are hoping for, and I think that in the future it will be necessary to pursue other strategies that are more involved than changing purchasing habits. Continue reading
It’s a normal night here at the Empire Dine and Dance. I’ve never seen this man before, but he emerges. A Hall and Oates song starts playing, but I couldn’t tell you the name of it, or what the hook is until it gets to the chords. The man is standing there with a bottle of brown liquor held tightly to his lips and tilted far above his head. He is jerking quickly back and forth. Not dancing, but… jerking.
Suddenly, I realize that the song is coming out of his butt. His name is Steven Handscomb.
How do I know that?
I also know that he manages a moving company. Where did he get that bottle? I look at the bartender, who doesn’t seem to care. He is gazing at Handscomb serenely. He has only the slightest smile hung from his approving face.
As Steven jerks back and forth, he moves his stiffly-straight legs across the floor, like a spirograph pen skittering on top of a card table. We are now halfway through the song, and I recognize its chorus. A bird rubs its back on the window from outside.
I don’t come to the Empire Dine and Dance regularly, but I come here often enough to know that this slowly descending disco ball is new. A middle aged woman in the corner is showered with Nickelodeon slime. After a moment, she laughs with a shocked expression holding her lips apart. The spring equinox will come in 54 days, I recall.
The song ends, and by this time, Steven Handscomb has grown a mustache. We’ve all grown mustaches. As I fumble through my purse, looking for a razor, I notice that Steven Hanscomb is missing. He is gone like the winter, and gone like his song. But he has made my dreams.
What kind of article is this? Is this one of those fake reports or what. How about that last sentence that the bagels still suck. What kind of world is this?
I can see now why people are ready to die when they are old. The world is like an alternate universe to what we were raised in. I say weird. But I do like Hannaford Hank.
Buddy, you’re a butt-man
Shitting the street
Gonna take a big pee someplace
You gotta butt on your face
Just in case
That butt is gonna fart right into your face
We will, we will fart you
We will, we will fart you
I tripped on a rock and died.
I tripped on a rock that was left on the floor by my bed, and I instantly fell out of my body and became a bundle of rags hanging in the air. Continue reading
I had a dream while you were gone. We went on a road trip with some friends. We met up with a guy I didn’t know, but I soon recognized him by the cloud of selfishness and narcissism around him that sucked up all the surrounding light. (Perhaps we all knew him, but have forgotten.) Continue reading