Top 8 Dog Instagram Accounts To Scroll Through While Avoiding Conversation With Your Family This Christmas

8. Ruth Bader Ginsdog

46778998_296064637696402_3291001723674959201_n

@RuthBaderGinsdog is a chihuahua with a derpy side tongue and a social justice warrior who will conquer your heart. Continue reading

Advertisements

The WTF Holiday Gift Guide

1. A Yellow Visibility Vest


A bright yellow visibility vest is great for those who like to jog, ride a bike, or engage in mass struggle against capitalism.  The bright colors help to make your loved one visible, both to oncoming vehicular traffic, as well as to the neoliberal elites. If your loved one is sick of letting technocrats try to place the burden of climate change on the backs of the poor and working class, this is the perfect gift.  Can also be used in intramural sports to denote teams, or in riots to denote which side of the class struggle you are on.  A strong visually cohesive uniform like this can help build solidarity across lines of profession, gender, race, and immigration status. Continue reading

I Haven’t Experienced Weather Like This Since I Rented a Room in Satan’s Asshole

34015007503_122a5e3a99_bLet’s step inside for a closer look:

SATAN’S ASSHOLE, ME — Record high temperatures are becoming almost passe as climate change drives disruption to our planet’s weather patterns, and Satan’s Asshole is no exception.  Satan’s Asshole is an unincorporated gore just outside of Augusta that Dale Brown and his sister Gail call home, where they rent a room at the Polyp Inn, a small hotel famously owned by Donald Trump in the 1990s. Dale was drenched in sweat. Continue reading

Internet Is Full, Must Be Abandoned

THE INTERNET — Senior Research Scientists at the World Headquarters of the Internet say, in a press conference today, that the internet is almost full, and will need to be abandoned.

internet

“The internet is just so totally full.  Like, there’s not room for even one more thing in the internet.” says senior research scientist, Dr. Xavier Vesperto.  “Soon, we will have to abandon the internet entirely, and move on to something else.” Continue reading

Russia Responsible for GOP Purging Voter Rolls and Democrats Doing Nothing About It

maxresdefaultWASHINGTON DC — The latest development in the Muller investigation revealed today that Russian Hackers are responsible for the GOP’s ongoing fight against voting rights legislation. Russian Hackers were also found to be suspected to be behind the GOP’s voter roll purges, mostly of black and brown people, and low-income white people, going all the way back to the 2000 election of George W Bush. Continue reading

Alex Jones Dies of On Screen, Mid-Scream Heart Attack

Fans Immediately Blame Government For False Flag, Instead of Rage-Marinated Meat Based Diet

alex jones dies mid heart attack

Alex Jones is Dead.  Perhaps his greatest conspiracy yet.

Libertarian huckster and Trump-supporter Alex Jones, has died in an on-screen, mid-scream heart attack.  Estranged from his family, he leaves no survivors, or anyone who thinks fondly of him, other than a few hundred semen-encrusted teenage libertarian boys who are confident that Obama did 9/11, and that the deep state is behind their leader’s sudden on-screen cardiac arrest, rather than his rage-infused meat-based diet.  He was 44 years old. Continue reading