Opium Owner: We didn’t name our bar ‘Heroin’— we named it after Heroin’s source

They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and the owners of the Opium at the Danforth Inn are keen on putting that to the test. Continue reading

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A Deflated SUV Tire Reads the Weather Report for This Weekend

flat-tirePORTLAND, ME — His voice is a ragged, depressed grumble, slowly but rigorously relating the hazards to be expected in southern Maine this weekend.

“So as you’ve probably heard, we are expected to receive snowfall on Saturday until 5pm, up to 5 inches.  At least, that’s what I’ve heard most recently.  Not great weather to be driving in with a tire in a condition such as that of myself.  *Sigh*.”

“Perhaps this would be a good opportunity to remind you that your traction in the snow will be *wheeze* significantly improved by a quick trip to your local gas station to have your tires filled to their maximum PSI.” Continue reading