Fans Immediately Blame Government For False Flag, Instead of Rage-Marinated Meat Based Diet
Alex Jones is Dead. Perhaps his greatest conspiracy yet.
Libertarian huckster and Trump-supporter Alex Jones, has died in an on-screen, mid-scream heart attack. Estranged from his family, he leaves no survivors, or anyone who thinks fondly of him, other than a few hundred semen-encrusted teenage libertarian boys who are confident that Obama did 9/11, and that the deep state is behind their leader’s sudden on-screen cardiac arrest, rather than his rage-infused meat-based diet. He was 44 years old. Continue reading
By Dynthia Shill
Do you wake up stunned at the news every morning and remember that we have white women to thank for putting Donald Trump in the White House?
The brute force of the 2016 election was a slap in the face, and like a January wind, its velocity is relentless. How did this happen? How should we deconstruct the bizarre choice that 52 percent of white women made to give the most powerful position on Earth to the guy famous mostly for abusing power?
There’s more to the story, but we have to scratch the veneer to get at it and it’s uncomfortable. Questions need to be asked. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — I climbed a mountain, but I’m still a shitty person. I posed for this photograph, and it looks like I am the pinnacle of triumph, like I’m living my best life, but I’m still a selfish child in an adult’s body, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and the owners of the Opium at the Danforth Inn are keen on putting that to the test. Continue reading
BAR HARBOR, ME — A new study released by the MDI Biological Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine, has suggested strong, preliminary evidence that human beings are made out of the very material that Soylent Green would be made of, were such a product to exist. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — In a West End apartment strewn with classified ads, sitcom DVDs, and cheater plugs, Kyle Masterson expresses disgust with how ungrounded his life, and apartment, both are. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — A locally owned business and member of the “Portland Buy Local” business group held a pizza party for employees to inform them that the business is no longer sufficiently profitable and needs to fire everyone, effective immediately. Continue reading