The WTF Holiday Gift Guide

1. A Yellow Visibility Vest

A bright yellow visibility vest is great for those who like to jog, ride a bike, or engage in mass struggle against capitalism.  The bright colors help to make your loved one visible, both to oncoming vehicular traffic, as well as to the neoliberal elites. If your loved one is sick of letting technocrats try to place the burden of climate change on the backs of the poor and working class, this is the perfect gift.  Can also be used in intramural sports to denote teams, or in riots to denote which side of the class struggle you are on.  A strong visually cohesive uniform like this can help build solidarity across lines of profession, gender, race, and immigration status.

2. A Bottle Filled With Flammable Liquid

Great to have on hand in any situation. Maybe fuel prices get jacked up, or maybe neoliberals try to offset their for tax cuts for the wealthy by increasing taxes on the things you need to get to your job where you barely make enough to make ends meet as it is. A glass bottle filled with fuel is useful in so many situations! You can use it to fill your tank, heat your home, and can also be thrown at police whilst on fire, to rather dramatic effect.

3. Rags

They say that cleanliness is next to Godliness, so what better for the Gods and Goddesses in your life, than cleaning rags?  You can use them to clean the house, and the senate! Get nasty stuck-on corruption out of the government, and out of the workplace.

Or what about when the weather looks like it will be cloudy with a chance of teargas and you’ve forgotten your gas mask at home?  We’ve all been there.  Just dip one of these in vinegar and place it in a plastic bag.  When tear gas canisters are fired by police, take it out and place it over your mouth to help protect your lungs, and throw that canister right back at those bourgeois pigs!  It can also be used in first aid to stop bleeding, as a sling, a tourniquet, or in conjunction with the glass bottle filled with fuel oil to make a moltov cocktail.  The possibilities are endless!

4. Wooden Pallets & Old Bald Tires

These materials are widely available and free. Perfect for building a barricade, or in a pinch, a flaming barricade!

5. Books on Marxism

While the riot is the voice of the unheard, and also a lot of fun, it still needs theory to ensure victory. Bone up on your Marxist analysis of capitalism and learn the history of past revolutions, so that we can succeed in the future in overthrowing this system of greed and despotism and institute a world based on democracy, not just in the government, but in the real halls of power– the workplace. Our labor creates all the wealth of the world, it’s high time we started deciding together how that wealth we create gets used, instead of leaving it up to a bunch of capitalists to decide for us.


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