10 Local Portland Restaurants in the Order That I listed Them

Which ten restaurants in Portland Maine did I  list and why? Click to find out!


  1. Burger King – This local restaurant is a place where people can get food as well as other stuff. It is also the very first restaurant on this list, because of the order that I listed them!


  2. Gritty’s – A bar where you can get beer, presumably, and probably a small selection of mediocre bar food, Gritty’s is also the second restaurant to be put on this list.


  3. Chipotle – A new local restaurant, located locally, Chipotle offers food that sometimes streamlines the digestion process. Chipotle is the third restaurant on this list.


  4. Whole Foods – A local restaurant with a nice bathroom that you can go to after Chipotle. Whole Foods lets you cook your own meals and eat them there but you have to cook them at home first. It is the 4th restaurant on the list, which is pretty special.


  5. Silly’s – This local restaurant serves fish. They also made it about halfway into this list because of how I listed the restaurants on the list.


  6. Strange Maine – Owner Brendan sometimes packs a sandwich for lunch but doesn’t eat it, so maybe if you drop by here you can ask him for a bite? They definitely made it onto the list though, right here at #6


  7. The Post Office – The Post Office has a cafe, which makes it really easy to mail crumbly, mediocre pastries. At #7, the Post Office definitely made it onto my list after 6 other things and before the last 3 things that are also on the list.

    ice cream.png

  8. Ice Cream Shops – There’s a bunch of places to get ice cream. Many of them are ice cream shops.  You can window shop for ice cream at an ice cream shop, but it is generally more fun to shop for ice cream and then eat it.  Whether you’re a certified chocoholic, or a shopaholic, you can sustain your very serious illness and patterns of self-destructive behavior at any ice cream shop that serves chocolate ice cream, which is most of them. 

    wake and bakery.png

  9. Wake and Bakery – No one ever remembers that this place exists probably because they got really high both before and after going there. They serve breakfast and also glass pipes, I haven’t tried the glass pipes because I prefer not to eat things made out of glass. Wow! The list is almost done, and this restaurant made it to #9 because thats where I put it!


  10. [10th restaurant on this list] – The last restaurant on the list is neither the least nor most important because the order that I placed restaurants was completely arbitrary. It really doesn’t even matter what the restaurant is, thats how irrelevant the numerical placement really is.

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