Area Man Unable to Find ‘Any Good Snacks’ in Apartment

PORTLAND- Parkside resident Jonathan Dryster was unable to locate any good snacks in his apartment this past Tuesday.  Wanting to head out to a party at his friend’s place and not wanting to have to pick up something on the way there, Dryster was searching his apartment for a food that required little preparation, that could be easily transported, easily shared, and eaten in indefinite amounts.

“I looked all over, but all I have are these boring foods that take quite a bit of time to prepare,” he said.

After looking at all the food items in his apartment, and thinking deeply about why he ever bought dried garbanzo beans when he rarely has the time to soak them and cook them,  cash-strapped Dryster decided he would have to go to the corner store and “pick something up” which leading snack experts agree, means a bag of potato chips.

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