AUGUSTA, ME – Paul LePage recently declared that he would not be giving a State of the State Address following the State of the Union Address. While this move left many scratching their heads, the reason became clear when it was revealed this past Wednesday that Charles and David Koch forgot to write the State of the State Speech for Paul LePage — despite promising to do so.
“The Koch brothers have really let us down,” said LePage’s press secretary Adrienne Bennett. “Normally, they will fax all of our speeches, or at least outlines of what policies should be included, but it seems that they completely spaced on it.”
LePage’s offices did receive an anonymous fax that sincerely apologized for the lack of direction from the Koch Brothers, which was destroyed after receipt. Bennett declined to elaborate as to why the Koch Brothers failed to make good on their promises, but indicated that “destroying the world is a full-time job, and things are bound slip through the cracks from time to time.”