PORTLAND, ME — I climbed a mountain, but I’m still a shitty person. I posed for this photograph, and it looks like I am the pinnacle of triumph, like I’m living my best life, but I’m still a selfish child in an adult’s body, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
People say that the planets can’t affect our lives, but the moon affects the ocean, and our body is mostly water, right? With that in mind, here’s your horoscope. Continue reading
It’s june! Time for June bugs! And summer love! And some fucking great horoscopes that will help you solve all your problems using… uh, science or something. Continue reading
They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and the owners of the Opium at the Danforth Inn are keen on putting that to the test. Continue reading
“Workers of the Universe Unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!” – Owl of Space Communism
May 1st is international workers day! Unless you were born rich, chances are, you’re a worker like the rest of us. Work is important. Everything the economy needs is provided by workers. It’s said that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never work a day in your life. If you don’t enjoy your job, you should end the class war by winning it. Use this month’s horoscope to figure out how to find meaningful work in your life. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — The Forest Avenue Hannaford in Portland has announced plans to serve its customers hand-wrapped bricks of porkfat lard, to be rendered from pigs slaughtered in-house, beginning this spring. After this trial run, the supermarket chain plans to expand on the new service in all of its 189 locations throughout New England and upstate New York. Continue reading
I think that if you could find a nonprofit, or a broad coalition of nonprofits, with a large base of support, a boycott could be a really good short term strategy that will be able to force concessions on a few items here and there.
But I think there are a lot of opportunities for a boycott to fail to create the deeper systemic change we are hoping for, and I think that in the future it will be necessary to pursue other strategies that are more involved than changing purchasing habits. Continue reading
BAR HARBOR, ME — A new study released by the MDI Biological Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine, has suggested strong, preliminary evidence that human beings are made out of the very material that Soylent Green would be made of, were such a product to exist. Continue reading