They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and the owners of the Opium at the Danforth Inn are keen on putting that to the test. Continue reading
May 1st is international workers day! Unless you were born rich, chances are, you’re a worker like the rest of us. Work is important. Everything the economy needs is provided by workers. It’s said that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never work a day in your life. If you don’t enjoy your job, you should end the class war by winning it. Use this month’s horoscope to figure out how to find meaningful work in your life. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — The Forest Avenue Hannaford in Portland has announced plans to serve its customers hand-wrapped bricks of porkfat lard, to be rendered from pigs slaughtered in-house, beginning this spring. After this trial run, the supermarket chain plans to expand on the new service in all of its 189 locations throughout New England and upstate New York. Continue reading
I think that if you could find a nonprofit, or a broad coalition of nonprofits, with a large base of support, a boycott could be a really good short term strategy that will be able to force concessions on a few items here and there.
But I think there are a lot of opportunities for a boycott to fail to create the deeper systemic change we are hoping for, and I think that in the future it will be necessary to pursue other strategies that are more involved than changing purchasing habits. Continue reading
BAR HARBOR, ME — A new study released by the MDI Biological Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine, has suggested strong, preliminary evidence that human beings are made out of the very material that Soylent Green would be made of, were such a product to exist. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — In a West End apartment strewn with classified ads, sitcom DVDs, and cheater plugs, Kyle Masterson expresses disgust with how ungrounded his life, and apartment, both are. Continue reading
PORTLAND, ME — A locally owned business and member of the “Portland Buy Local” business group held a pizza party for employees to inform them that the business is no longer sufficiently profitable and needs to fire everyone, effective immediately. Continue reading
The crumpled up purple shirt in the bathroom looks like that thing I fried for breakfast this morning but couldn’t eat.
I lifted my back sideways but all I got was a shotgun blast to the fart. I fart-died quickly and loudly.
You know, when my dad told me he was proud of me and my sister, his eyes dipped downwards quickly in the middle of his sentence. I used to think he had weak eyes.
I couldn’t eat what I cooked for breakfast this morning, because my two fish looked at it once and said, “It’s too shiny; it will give you swine-flu for sure.”
I took another drag from my E-cig and I said, “Sure, fish. Shore.”
God died a long time ago, but I still have fun.
“Anyone wanna go to the Barcade? I once performed in drag there when it was a bone broth Wendy’s! Ha ha ha.”